You're Done Here, Buddy

There are two kinds of people in this world: the first, is the person who has refined their gum chewing skills so that all chewing remains confined within the sanctum of their own mouth. The second, who is obviously Done Here, Buddy,  is the demonstrator of excessive hubris–who shows no regard for other people’s space–making public their aptitude for this lip smacking, bubble popping activity. This past monday, I boarded the BART to make my way from my home in Oakland to San Francisco, where I am a Mandarin Chinese Instructor at the ABC Language School in Union Square. During the ride, I was quietly glancing over and making last second changes to my lesson plan, when I heard a noise that resembled the igniting of an atomic missile. Little did I realize, the sound that I mistook for an atomic missile was actually a woman engaged in some of the loudest gum chewing that I have ever witnessed.  Blasphemed, I couldn’t help but think how inappropriate this kind of behavior is. Is nothing sacred? The BART is a public vessel designed to transport passengers from one station to another in what ought to be a civilized environment. It is not, however, a symposium to practice your little leaguer impersonation.

This woman clearly did not get the memo: if you don't have anything nice to chew, you probably shouldn't chew anything at all. YDHB.