You're Done Here, Buddy

Personal experience is one thing that I really try to incorporate in You’re Done Here, Buddy. That said, this past weekend I was reminded of a buddy, whose propensity for cock-blocking, plagiarism and blowing up of proverbial spots, are well deserving of this week’s first post. Last Friday night, I attended a house party in Oakland, CA whose theme was “Bad Ideas.” The way in which the partygoers expressed this theme varied in both appearance and philosophy. Nonetheless, I took particular notice of a girl whose shoes I found to be rather compelling–a pair of Nike high-tops.  Soon after noticing her shoes, I mentioned to my brother, Ross, how fly I thought they were. Initially unimpressed by the shoes, my brother responded with a searing retort, classic in both its delivery and content: “Not that tight.”

Given how similar each pair is, I find it interesting that my brother originally chose to disparage the young lady's shoes.

After momentarily turning my attention to a woman offering me a shot of brown Taiwanese liquor, I regained my focus and noticed that my brother was now engaged with the very girl whose shoes I originally complimented. I discretely moseyed past the two newly acquainted partygoers only to discover that my brother, with shit eater in tact, was complimenting the very same shoes he minutes before proclaimed as being “Not that tight.” I felt both saddened and hurt. How could my brother betray me in such a way? His vacillating tactics need to be called out for their doneness. Ross: You’re Done Here, Buddy.

It is now clear that my brother's scheme was both malicious and well-calculated. His only intention was to loot the goods all for himself.