You're Done Here, Buddy

Previously beloved by Chicagoans and baseball fans around the globe for blowing kisses and his perpetual crushing of Dong, Sammy Sosa once again finds himself embittered in turmoil. It’s no doubt that, once a pro athlete’s career comes to an end, he or she longs to reclaim their place in the limelight. Once regarded as infallible demagogues, retired athletes often wither away as forgotten memories of the past.   Yet, not even this die-hard sports fan could have imagined that Sosa’s cry for help would become this desperate, this Done Here, Buddy:

Dear, God. Say it ain't so, Sammy. Sosa as photographed during a November 4th event in Las Vegas.

When questioned if he was trying to impersonate the late Michael Jackson, Sosa quickly shot down the notion, suggesting that it’s “a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed and whitens my skin some.” Whoa, Sammy. It looks like the cream has whitened your skin more than “some.” Time to put the cream back in the cupboard, Sammy…deep in the cupboard.

What Sosa used to look like. Enough said.