这张图片和中国一点关系都没有！

Few things in this world are more Done Here, Buddy than the Asian Chicken Salad. The points of discussion on this topic are, no doubt, endless. Yet, I thought it worthwhile to bring the primary issues of concern to the forefront. For starters, the title of this Americanized creation is as culturally ambiguous as its ingredients are indigenous to its “so called” Asian heritage. Take a moment to contemplate the absurdity of generalizing a dish intended to represent the flavors, spices, ingredients and cultures of Asia’s 53 nations. You heard it right the first time, folks: one salad for 53 nations. Further complicating the issue is that the salad is often referred to as the Chinese Chicken Salad. News flash, people: Chinese Chicken Salad is about as Chinese as Gary “the rat” Gaetti. Still not convinced? You’re Done Here, Buddy will offer a reward of five Chinese Chicken Salads to the reader who is able to find one on the menu of an Asian or Chinese restaurant. You’re probably thinking to yourself how improbable such a feat is, as everyone knows that these salads are predominately ordered by female graduates of Big Ten colleges at generic sports bars. Alright, guys. Remember this: don’t make the mistake and order the California Roll of salads.

Previously beloved by Chicagoans and baseball fans around the globe for blowing kisses and his perpetual crushing of Dong, Sammy Sosa once again finds himself embittered in turmoil. It’s no doubt that, once a pro athlete’s career comes to an end, he or she longs to reclaim their place in the limelight. Once regarded as infallible demagogues, retired athletes often wither away as forgotten memories of the past.   Yet, not even this die-hard sports fan could have imagined that Sosa’s cry for help would become this desperate, this Done Here, Buddy:

Dear, God. Say it ain't so, Sammy. Sosa as photographed during a November 4th event in Las Vegas.

When questioned if he was trying to impersonate the late Michael Jackson, Sosa quickly shot down the notion, suggesting that it’s “a bleaching cream that I apply before going to bed and whitens my skin some.” Whoa, Sammy. It looks like the cream has whitened your skin more than “some.” Time to put the cream back in the cupboard, Sammy…deep in the cupboard.

What Sosa used to look like. Enough said.

I REALLY wanted to reserve this post until the 2009 Chicago Cubs were officially eliminated from playoff contention, but this weekend’s events have left me with no choice but to do otherwise. For those of you that don’t know, Cubs’ General Manager suspended RF and fan favorite Milton Bradley (.257, 12, 40) for the remainder of the 2009 season. Acquired in the offseason on a 3 year $30 million contract, Hendry touted Bradley as the left-handed  bat that would provide balance and stability to the Cubs’  predominately right-handed lineup, which had been swept out of the playoffs in each of the last two seasons. The move certainly turned heads as many Cubs’ fans wondered why Hendry declined to go after a number of available left-handed sluggers such as Raul Ibanez (.277, 31, 87), Adam Dunn (.278, 37, 101) and Bobby Abreu (.295, 13, 96).

Milton Bradley (right) has the look of a man now $30 dollars richer. Chicago Cubs' General Manager, Jim Hendry, has the look of a man who is absolutely Done Here.

While there are myriad reasons (inability to play small ball, no speed, lack of execution with runners in scoring position etc.) and players / coaches (Milton Bradley, Alfonso Soriano, Carlos Zambrano, Lou Piniella and Trainer Mark O’Neal) that are responsible for the total suckage of this year’s Chicago Cubs , these factors speak to the greater ineptitude of Jim Hendry to put together a winner.  It should come as no surprise to Cubs’ fans that  an AGING Soriano is hurt or cannot hit the  curveball. This just in, he’s always been an undisciplined first-pitch fastball hitter.

Alfonso Soriano, like Pedro Cerrano, has a hard time hitting the curveball.

In addition, I could definitely spend an entire week speaking about Bradley’s inability to stay focused during a game or simply hit the ball where the opposing team is not. His performance on the field, however, has provided little margin for his behavioral error and “me first” attitude. But … how is this unlike anything we haven’t seen before? Um, like, hello: this toolbox has been on seven teams in his 10 year career for a reason.

It has been said numerous times  that a select group of PLAYERS  need to take a long hard look in the mirror. The same HAS to be said about Jim Hendry  who has invested  a total of $136 million in Alfonso Soriano, $91.5 million in Carlos Zambrano, $30 million in Milton Bradley and $48 million in Kosuke Fukudome. It is clear that defense has never been a priority for Jim Hendry, especially in the case of Milton Bradley and Alfonso Soriano, but Hendry should have had the foresight to see these problems manifest themselves down the road.  If, as I have stated, defense was never a priority for Hendry, why not choose a player who AT THE VERY LEAST has a proven track record of being a team player with equal offensive credentials? The answer, my friends, is quite simple. Jim Hendry is totally done here.  I’m not quite sure what new Cubs’ owner Tom Ricketts has in store for Mr. Hendry, but it’s pretty clear that I’d rather have the GM from Lou Malnati’s running my baseball team. This guy has set the Cubs up for more problems down the road and, as is the reality, has nobody to blame but himself.